The 4 Categories of Porn I Watch, and Why

Psychoanalyzing my self-pleasure...

Photo credit: Malvestida

This post has been updated! You can read the latest version here on tashdoherty.com.

Introduction

I was chatting with a female friend the other day.

“I’ve never watched porn,” she told me.

“What?!” I said, skipping a breath, “If I had never watched porn, I’d probably have a PhD by now.” (As in the academic qualification, not a pretty huge dick).

I have watched a lot of porn over the years. I hate to admit it, but I probably first searched sexual images on the internet when I was 12 years old. I was hitting puberty, and far too curious for my own good. Porn is basically how I learned what sex was. And over the last 15 years, my preferred categories have moulded into hard-wired, dopamine-producing grooves in my brain.

Yet watching porn has been far from a guilt-free activity. I’ve gone through phases of being disgusted at myself for doing it daily. I used to feel that the masturbation component itself was shameful. I do it in the privacy of my own room and don’t tell anyone about it. It must be a sin. But over time, I’ve come to accept it. I’ve come to accept myself. I am a human. Humans are animals, and there’s something appealing to animals about watching their fellow specimens fucking each other. I mean, real talk though: how else was I going to get through my dry spells? Throughout college and early yuppie life, I’ve gone for months at a time without having a sexual partner. Who would I be if I had never watched porn to masturbate? Probably someone far grouchier, displeased, highly-strung, on-edge and anxious—or at least more anxious than I am now.

Sometimes the men I sleep with ask me in a kinky way,

“What porn categories do you watch?”

This question leaves me shrugging. Some of my categories would be hot to watch with a partner. While others are just…weird. Porn categories are kind of like each person’s TikTok algorithm: maybe a guy could admire aspects of my taste from afar, but no two For You Pages are the same. That’s why I don’t really share them with anybody…except you!

Categories

1. Double penetration (DP)

DP is a pretty standard group sex category, where multiple males have sex with the same female at the same time; for example, one guy has vaginal sex with her while she lies on top of another guy who penetrates her anally. Or two guys have either vaginal or anal sex with her at the same time (there are even more extreme variations, like triple penetration. Yikes).

What I like about DP is that the girl gets all the attention. Sometimes there are even more than two guys, and the other men are standing around watching, wishing they were fucking her. As the oldest of four children, I never got enough attention when I was younger, and now in my real life I’m extra independent and handle everything myself. When I’m having sex, I want all these roles to be reversed. I want to be small and submissive and spineless, and I want the other person or people to make all the decisions. And I want all the focus to be on me, the woman—ideally  the attention of multiple people. It’s fascinating how that works, but it makes sense for all of us as sexual deviants: in sex, we can want the opposite of who we normally are, and it takes knowing ourselves on a deeper level to be able to hold those two dualities of self in perfect balance.

DP also appeals to me because it breaks away from the standard ideal of monogamous couples in the patriarchy. One dude, with one dick, isn’t enough. A girl should be entitled to more if she wants it. So, there’s nothing sacred about finding my Mr. Right: not even the best dick in the world could outcompete two perfectly good dicks. But this just my sexual preference. I’m strongly non-monogamous, which I’ll share more about later.

DP has been one of my fantasies, but the closest I’ve ever gotten is having sex with one partner, while using a dildo in my ass at the same time. It’s a lot. That’s the point of DP. It’s a lot, everywhere, all at once.

2. Super-Sized Big Beautiful Women (SSBBWs)

I used to think this one was a weird niche but reflecting on it more, it makes sense to me. Not only do I think big women are beautiful, but this kind of porn brought me to a far greater realization a long time ago:

Fat girls are free.

I even named the first NFT collection I ever made (lol) after this (I’m still in the process of launching it). I grew up in London, and for my entire younger life, I witnessed an ungodly amount of socially accepted fat phobia. In prim West London, fat people were considered repulsive and irresponsible. English people remark things like,

“I almost had half of a chocolate almond croissant for breakfast. Naughty me!”

Come on, people! That is one thing I love about Americans. Americans will eat whatever the fuck they want, and say, unapologetically,

“I was starving, so I had the triple bacon cheeseburger with 2 hamburger patties plus a layer of fried chicken in a twice-fried sandwich.” Bring it on!

What I love about porn with really big, beautiful women is the guy is so into them. And there is so much of them to love, to touch and to grab. It flies in the face of everything I was taught about what kinds of bodies men like and want to have sex with. So, good for you, SSBBWs! Rock on!

3. Cream Pie Multiple

So, obviously, a cream pie is when a male ejaculates into a female’s vagina, so cream pie multiple is where multiple males would do this one after the other. Again, maybe a weird niche one, but it exists. There’s one random German sex group I’ve found which does a lot of these videos on PornHub.

Interestingly, this porn category has become more appealing to me as I get older and, dare I say it, enter my childbearing years. Watching a male ejaculate inside of a female’s vagina and then seeing the sperm trickle out of her is very hot to me. Then the fact that there are multiple guys doing it, and so lots of sperm, and lots of potential to impregnate her, is absolutely mind-blowing.

Yes, it sounds strange at first, but it makes sense on a biological level. If you have a vagina and you want to create offspring, you obviously want to create the best offspring that you can. So the optimal way to do it would be to pick the best mate, and then have them come inside of you? Right? Wrong! What’s better than one great dude’s sperm is two great dudes’ sperm. You enable both dudes to cum inside of you, and then their sperm compete with each other for the egg, thereby creating the ultimate, most optimized, super-offspring child.

Of course, all these porn scenes are staged and supposedly they are all using protection. And I am not in favor of secretly having sex with multiple men and leading one man over another to believe that they are the father of said future child. I’ve seen enough messed-up daytime paternity shows on TV to know that this is a real issue for men. However, if I decided I wanted a kid one day, and I was somehow able to have multiple dudes try to impregnate me back to back, or in the same sitting, I think that would be pretty fucking incredible.

4. Anal fisting

Not necessarily on the violent end of the spectrum, the category of anal fisting is all about sticking large contraptions in females’ asses. I personally prefer threesome content with two girls and one dude for this category, or just females for this one.

As a female who gets pleasure from anal sex and butt stuff, perhaps there is something reassuring to me when I watch this type of porn: I am not alone. Having things put up your butt is kind of forbidden in all kinds of societal senses of the phenomena, so the fact that these girls are in videos where they seem to enjoy it and also are able to push their body to extremes, sometimes, is appealing. I often wonder how they walk afterwards though or what the post-scene experience is like for them.

Conclusion

So, there you have it, folks. My 4 main favorite categories of porn. Maybe you think they are too weird, or too vanilla, or what else have you. I’m curious. What are your favorite porn categories? And what categories have you wanted to watch but not tried out yet? Drop a comment below!

I’m also planning to write an article at some point about how to watch porn with a partner.  My hypothesis so far is that it ultimately depends on the category. Watching anal fisting videos together would probably be hot, but the fact is that I’m not an SSBBW and I can’t achieve the most relevant aspects of these porn videos with the partner I’d be watching it with, makes it a bit less achievable. I’d love your input if you have a perspective on this too! Or if you’re just curious, and want to read, keep an eye out.

I hope that wherever you are in the world, you’re getting each and every single orgasm that you deserve, self-made or otherwise. And if watching your favorite porn category helps you achieve that, even better!