Stop trying to get nonbelievers to see your magic.
The power of tuning into the right people. Plus 3 shamelessly sexy tips.
Happy Tuesday, love!
I’m bringing you this personal essay from my writing desk in Mexico City, so grateful to be back. If you’re gunning for the 3 tips on being shamelessly sexy this week, feel free to just scroll on down…
My Story 📓
In London, I speed down a tree-lined Georgian street of townhouses, going nowhere fast. My father’s comments about my creative career choices grate on me. He’s not the only person who’s awash with vague confusion talking about these things. Meanwhile, everyone seems excited that I am interviewing for a job. I need money, and job interviews are a process they can get behind. Something concrete they can cling to. But there’s no reflection of the creative life that I have built for myself in the people and the place that raised me. I feel empty.
I board a train to Wales bound for a music festival, weighed down by a giant backpack full of camping gear and an oncoming cold. I miss the little colorful corner of my writing desk in Mexico City. Sleeping on a steep incline in a wet field only dampens my mood.
Then, on my first morning at the festival, I sit down next to Bella, a friend of a friend, on a bench at a long picnic table. The sun shines through thin clouds covering the bright green valley. People in folky cloaks and crumpled linens mill about slowly. Come to think of it, the only other times I have met Bella were in Mexico City, once when she lived there 11 years ago, and once when I was living there two years ago. As her children fight over the number of French fries on their plates, she says to me,
“You know, I’ve been meaning to catch up with you. I’ve been approached by an agent, and they want me to write a book…”
Bella angles her hand over her eyes to cover from the sun, which is now burning brightly. Her words are as fresh to me as the air I am breathing in and out, dewed with valley mist. Talking to her, I feel like I am stepping across a threshold into an alternative reality. Suddenly, I am a full person sitting next to her again. I have something to contribute.
“…about my professional experience working in non-profit leadership. But after writing academically so much, it’s hard to get those deeper, personal stories out, you know? How did you do it with your books? Do you write at the same time every day?”
Her words remind me of the time in LA when my cousin and his wife took me out for a pizza dinner and ice cream in Venice Beach. “I’m related to someone who published a freaking novel? How freaking cool is that!”
Her words remind me of the time when Robin, one of my mentors and adoptive parents, handed me a small cue card at the end of her retreat. On it, she had written, “The sky’s your limit.”
Her words remind me of the last line of my copy editor’s email, at the end of a page of scrupulous edits,
“I can’t emphasize enough what a pleasure it was to copyedit Peach Tulips.”
Her words remind me of the last text I received from my old therapist in New York, Barbara, “So fun. You’ll get there. Pls keep in touch. 🥰” The same woman who coached me through the emotional breakdown of quitting my job to fulfill my dream of publishing my novel. (Love you, Barbara!)
Bella reminded me that maybe my true self, my shamelessly sexy self, is not distributed evenly everywhere. There are rooms and dinner tables of nonbelievers. But when I surround myself with the people who get it, who believe in me, or have their own visions, I am given too many blessings to count. I see the arc of a creative life stretching out ahead of me. Bella can see it also. I am grateful to her for reminding me that it was there.
Your Shamelessly Sexy Tips 💁♀️
Desire It 💋
“Her words remind me of…”
Think of a person, podcast story, idea, or piece of artwork you’ve come across recently that reminds you of who you want to be. Where were you when you came across it? What did it inspire in you? What caught your attention?
Honor It 🌞
“I’m related to someone who published a freaking novel? How freaking cool is that!”
Pick one memory you have when someone said something encouraging to you about your creativity. What exactly did they say? What were they celebrating? Hold their words in your heart this week, and try repeating them to yourself. No ifs, no buts, no explaining or excusing them away. Just receive.
Act On It 🎯
Reach out to someone who has believed in you and your creativity. Set up a time to hang out with them or speak on the phone. Then, actually tell them what you’ve been working on.
See you next week!
Love,
Tash Doherty
Author of These Perfectly Careless Things
Creator of The Intimacy Journal
Facilitator of Intimacy Writing Workshops
💌 ✍️
Extra Treats I’m Working On 🍬
If you want to read the novel that Barbara and my copyeditor loved, head on over to Amazon.com and get your copy of These Perfectly Careless Things, my spicy, cumming-of-age teen romance novel set in London. Peach Tulips was the old title.
What I’m currently listening to 🎶
I sang this song, one of my favorites, in front of a makeshift choir at the festival, and NOBODY else knew it! I was shocked! Still, its message seems relevant:
Keep in touch! 🥰
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Honestly connect with this so much. Transition from 20s to now 30 has been summarized by that sentiment.