My Sex Toy Collection Revealed

4 toys, 48 partners, and the science of shameless pleasure 😜

Plus: Why only 15% of us use sex toys with casual partners, and why that needs to change!

Introduction 🧘‍♀️

Dear Wonderful Readers,

Sex toys are every girl’s best friend. Or at least that’s what I’ve always assumed since I accidentally discovered heaven on earth with a (new, clean) electric toothbrush at the age of 14.

As I’m on a mission to help the world be shamelessly sexy, I think normalizing our discussions about the way we pleasure ourselves is very important. That’s what inspired me to write about my toys for you today.

I currently own four sex toys. Two vibrators and two butt plugs. I have no intention of changing my masturbation habits, but I was curious if owning this many toys put me on the spectrum of “weirdo.” So, I decided to compare how my collection stacks up against 12,000 men and women in Denmark, Norway, Sweden, Finland, France, and the dull, drab, grey island nation where I was born, the UK.¹

I’m also developing a tool to help you explore your pleasure, which I will share more about soon. Stay tuned!

How much of a “weirdo” am I? 🤪

Let’s compare my profile to the researchers’ findings.

According to their research, the fact that I am a young bisexual woman with a higher education and many sexual partners are all factors that make me slightly more likely to own sex toys. But the scientists also shared some sad and shocking findings:

Guys, what the hell! Only 15% of us are using our sex toys with casual partners? That’s a travesty! That needs to change.

Verdict: I’m not a weirdo, just a sexually active gal 🤣 💅.

Their Other Cool Findings 🤓 📊

• Approximately 80% of UK respondents shared that they owned a vibrator, more than in any other country they surveyed. Lol.

• Women were more likely than men to own a sex toy, but the men who had sex toys tended to own more of them.

• Women were more likely to use sex toys alone, while men were more likely to use them with partners.

• “It is easier for women to reach orgasm using sex toys or that it may enhance their solo sexual experiences more as compared with men”². No shit, Sherlock 🕵.

TL;DR If you want to improve your relationship with your partner, use a sex toy with them frequently 👍.

The Bisexual Paradox 🧐

Bisexual women were more likely than straight women to use sex toys. However, just like straight women, they were less likely to use sex toys with their male partners. The researchers specifically quoted one study from 2012, which found that bisexual women who had sex in the last 30 days across the board were less likely to use their different sex toys with their male partners, compared to their female partners.³

As I wrote about before in “How to Achieve Orgasm Equality,” the more a female has sex with males, the more likely she is to experience a pleasure gap. Luckily, the scientists also address how we can tackle this, and ensure that more females are satisfied in their relationships.

The Four Sex Toy Steps To Relationship Satisfaction 🐾

The scientists identify this four-step process for couples:

1. Reveal: Either of the sexual partners must share their interest in sex toys.

2. Decision: The couple has to decide together to bring them into their sexual activities.

3. Acquisition: Get the goods.

4. Negotiation: The couple figures out how and when to include the sex toys in their activities.

This was the exact process I went through with my boyfriend, who wanted me to peg him. Just as the researchers suggested might happen, having this conversation reflected the strength of our relationship and increased our feelings of safety, security, and openness together.

It’s a miracle I graduated from Kindergarten with these coloring skills 😂

Still, the researchers hit us with another tragic finding:

“Some women feel insecure and embarrassed about introducing vibrators in their sexual lives, as they fear their partner’s reaction, while other women enjoy sex toy purchase and use as a shared experience with their partner.”⁴

Bingo. Kudos to you if you’re one of the women who doesn’t give a fuck, and who has the sex toy collection of your dream that you use with your partner(s). But for the rest of you, it’s time to work on being shamelessly sexy! If we don’t ask for what we want and reveal our interest in sex toys to our partner(s), we are not going to get what we want.

My Sex Toys: A History 📜

• I started with an Oral-B electric toothbrush and a number of clean heads from around the age of 14. I recommend the smaller, rounder, flatter brush heads because we don’t need your clit feeling like she’s going through a car wash.

• I then had two bullet vibrators that lasted for a couple of years each.

Current Vibes & Plugs 🏄‍♀️

The Rechargeable Magic Wand 🪄

This is the device I depend on daily. My ex-boyfriend bought it for me 6 years ago, and she’s still going strong. What’s also hilarious is that in 2024, the New York Times voted it as the best vibrator, and then again in 2025. I even made a TikTok about this discovery. Though I doubt he is reading this, I want to thank my ex, who got this for me and who changed my life.

The Rechargeable Magic Wand is an instrument for both humans and wizards alike.

@misseducated_What is the best spicy toy of 2023? #spicytoys #spicytoysforeveryone #female #seggseducation #femalepleasure #seggsualhealth #misseducated

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Lioness 🦁

I received the Lioness as a freebie for a collaboration article I worked on about orgasming on psilocybin, i.e., masturbating on shrooms, which I continue to rank #1 for on Google, lol. The Lioness is best for nerding out about your orgasm data, as it connects to an app on your phone, and then you can record and measure your orgasms. It’s honestly super fun!

Mystra Obsidian 🪨

I won this small, obsidian butt plug at a live dating show when I was an audience member, not a contestant. My neighbor and friend Fanni is the founder of Mystra, and she produces absolutely beautiful toys here in Mexico City. I like to use this toy occasionally with casual partners just to keep things simple. It’s not as mind-blowing as the next toy, but it gets the job done, and I love the weight and texture of the stone.

I’m very proud to have a neighbor who makes beautiful toys like this!

La Cosa Negra 🕋

This was a gift from the same amazing ex-boyfriend, which I believe he got from Good Vibrations. We had to split up our sex toy collection when we broke up, and we named our sex toys in Spanish for some reason (I wasn’t even living in Mexico at the time). I can’t find the link to it, but you can see the shape. Highly recommend.

The increasing size is what makes this amazing, but they sadly don’t have this model available.

Bonus Tools ⚒️

I’ll just leave these here for safekeeping…

Final Thoughts 💭

Just as our relationships change over time, so too should our sex toy collections. The collection I have currently is a reflection of my more sexually open relationships and my generous previous partners. Ultimately, as we have seen from the equations of just how much using sex toys can improve a female’s sexual health, I hope that one day, sex toys are treated with the same pedestrian banality as electric toothbrushes are (for their original purpose, lol). Our sexual health, assisted by sex toys, is a function of our relationships with our bodies in our everyday lives, as well as a reflection of our relationship with ourselves.

While this is the ideal I hope we can all work towards in our mission to help the world be shamelessly sexy, the first thing we can do is encourage our female friends to use their sex toys with casual partners more frequently. Also, by teaching our male partners about the relevance of sex toys for our pleasure, we can help to close that pesky pleasure gap.

I hope you enjoyed this very detailed and scientifically ridiculous exploration of my sex toy collection. I loved writing it for you.

Do you own a sex toy? Comment “Interesting!” as our code word to let me know that you do.

Stay shamelessly sexy out there!

Much love,

Tash

💌 ✍️

This article contains affiliate links. Please feel free to contact me if you’re concerned about that at all.

1. Gert Martin Hald, Silvia Pavan & Camilla S. Øverup (2025) Do Sex Toys Make Me Satisfied? The Use of Sex Toys in Denmark, Norway, Sweden, Finland, France, and the UK, The Journal of Sex Research, 62:5, 735-749, DOI: 10.1080/00224499.2024.2304575

2. Fahs, B., & Swank, E. (2013). Adventures with the “plastic man”: Sex toys, compulsory heterosexuality, and the politics of women’s sexual pleasure. Sexuality & Culture, 17(4), 666–685. https://doi.org/10.1007/ s12119-013-9167-4

3. Schick, V., Herbenick, D., Rosenberger, J. G., & Reece, M. (2012). Variations in the sexual repertoires of bisexually-identified women from the United States and the United Kingdom. Journal of Bisexuality, 12(2), 198–213. https://doi.org/10.1080/15299716.2012.674856

4. Mayr, C. (2021). Beyond plug and play: The acquisition and meaning of vibrators in heterosexual relationships. International Journal of Consumer Studies, 45(1), 28–37. https://doi.org/10.1111/ijcs.12601