If I could only choose one sex toy forever...
Uncovering the secrets of Magic Wand. Plus 3 shamelessly sexy tips from Sarah Tomchesson, sex toy royalty!
Happy Wednesday, love!
This week I am honored to introduce a very special guest post! If you’re gunning for the 3 tips on being shamelessly sexy this week, feel free to just scroll on down…
My Story 📓
(If you like short-form video, you can watch a TikTok I made about this experience at the time)
In 2023, I saw a headline that made me burst out laughing. Bianca Alba for the New York Times had done all the research and reviewed over 200 vibrators since 2011. And this is what they came up with:
“No toy offers the level of power and intensity as the widely beloved Magic Wand”
In fact, writing this in 2026, the Rechargeable Magic Wand is still The New York Times’ top pick today!
Why was this so funny to me? If you’ve read my work, you’ll know it’s because I happen to own one. Not only that, but my now-ex-boyfriend had gifted it to me back in 2019.
Now, this man has blocked me on all forms of social media. He literally does not want a remote whiff of me in his life. And yet, when we were dating in 2019, he saw into the future, read all the product reviews on Amazon, foretold the prophecy of the sex toy gods, and bought me the best fucking vibrator that exists in the world. (If you’re still wondering who he is, I’ll admit that he is the star of my classically popular and highly anonymized piece, “I Pegged My Boyfriend.”)
After all these years, he continues to have a positive impact on my life every single day because of my Magic Wand! Haha. I can’t say that about all of my exes, you know? I think that’s kind of special, and I’m very grateful to him for that.
Of course, as a happy customer, I became deeply curious about Magic Wand (imported and distributed by Vibratex) and dreamed of collaborating with them. But the company always had an air of mystique around it, much like Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. Nobody ever seemed to go in. Nobody ever seemed to come out. And there wasn’t (and still isn’t) any direct affiliate link program for me to promote my favorite product! Boo!
However, this week I finally got to brush shoulders with sex toy royalty. Sarah Tomchesson is the Director of Marketing & Education at Magic Wand, and she also happens to be a fabulous pleasure and intimacy coach! I got to connect with her on a call, and her energy was awesome. I learned that Magic Wand itself is switching things up; after years of hardly communicating with their customers directly at all, their execs are airing their own honest, dirty laundry on my favorite independent media platform, Substack! So, I’ve got both the Magic Wand Substack and Sarah’s personal Substack, Pleasure Practices (I love this title!), for you to check out.
I’m so honored to share that Sarah will be guest-posting the 3 shamelessly sexy tips this week. She is truly the real deal, and her tips go deep.
Thank you, Sarah, for being so wonderful!
p.s. If you want to get really nerdy, here is Magic Wand’s Sex Trends Report, where they take analyzing masturbation data very seriously! 😋
Your Shamelessly Sexy Tips 💁♀️
From Sarah Tomchesson, Director of Marketing & Education at Magic Wand, and creator of the Pleasure Practices Substack 🌿✨💜
Desire It 💋
“Being in relationship with your desires is about first giving yourself permission, then naming them. Take 5 minutes to write a messy, unfiltered list of everything you want right now. No editing, no overthinking. Put it all down to paper. Then, look for patterns. What feelings keep showing up beneath the wants? Distill your list down to 3 core feelings (freedom, connection, ease, prosperity, etc.). Then, choose one feeling to “date” for a week. Notice when it’s present and when it’s absent. Be intentional about seeking out the things, activities, and people that bring you closer to that feeling.”
Honor It 🌞
“Burnout culture has made pleasure something that has to be earned. Most of us have internalized this and exiled pleasure from our day-to-day. Making pleasure a practice is a rebellion against burnout. It’s a conscious, ongoing commitment to explore what brings you genuine enjoyment (both sexual and nonsexual). Unlike the occasional spa day after checking off your to-do list, a pleasure practice is tended regularly and with intention. Stop leaving moments of joy to chance and start cultivating the experiences and sensations that make you feel fully alive deliberately, even if just for 5 minutes a day.”
Act On It 🎯
“Pleasure mapping is a practice I love for treating your entire body like an erogenous zone and exploring with curiosity to discover which areas and types of touch feel good (and to what degree). The discovery process is exciting, and it makes you the expert of your own body. I recommend practicing solo first before integrating a partner. Moving from your feet to your head, you will alternate between light, caressing touch and firm, massaging sensations. Check in with your breath throughout. Afterward, reflect: Where did you feel most alive? What areas or types of touch were most surprising, enticing, or off limits?”
See you next week!
Love,
Tash Doherty
Author of These Perfectly Careless Things
Creator of The Intimacy Journal
Course Teacher of Writing to Rekindle Desire
💌 ✍️
Extra Treats I’m Working On 🍬
Lift-off! 🚀 My first writing course, “Writing to Rekindle Desire,” is now live on Teachable. This course is designed to bring you on a beautiful, deep and self-paced writing journey. We’ll dig through the muck so you can come out feeling more alive! It’s based on the expressive writing methodology of Professor James Pennebaker from UT Austin, which has proven mental and physical health benefits. Join me!
What I’m currently listening to 🎶
I’m obsessed with Rosario Alfonso, and have been listening to this song on repeat as I tinker with Misseducated behind the scenes. She’s Chilean, and I love her music! I might translate this song full soon, much like I translated her song, “Hilo Invisible.” These lyrics say: “Everything that burns, burns. Nothing is written in stone. The same thing always happens. The sun hides itself, too.”
but the graphics! joy! joy!