How to Create a Sex Journal in 30 Days
Idea → Draft + Burnout [ 💡 🔜 📓 🔥 ]
Dear Wonderful Readers,
We did it! The first draft of The Sex Journal is done, and headed to the printers today! It’s 140 pages long, so my estimate of 70 sheets at the printers was bang on.
As I write this, I realize I’m probably going to regret not having any reader feedback before printing the first draft. Still, I look forward to learning that lesson the hard way when I return in August to examine the samples.
It’s not too late to sign up to be a beta reader of The Sex Journal! My offer still stands:
If you’re a free subscriber, you can get 3 months of Misseducated’s paid tier comped in exchange for your feedback
If you’re a paid subscriber, you’ll get a discount on the final journal once it’s released
I’ll be back in late August with more updates about starting preorders. If you’re truly dying to get your copy and don’t want to miss a second of updates, you can respond “Preorder!” to this email, and I will put you on a special separate list.
Let me just say, if there’s one thing I’ve learned through this process, it’s that creating a journal is WAY easier than writing a novel. WAY easier. It took me two years to complete the first draft of my novel, and 14 years to publish it. I completed the first draft of the sex journal in about a month. It’s insanely faster. I’m grateful for that.
A month ago, I looked at this pretty massive mountain in front of me and I thought: how the fuck am I going to do this? Well, it’s been quite the creative rollercoaster, but somehow I pulled it together. For anyone who wants to try this at home, I’d recommend making your project your full-time job temporarily, picking an absolutely ridiculous deadline that you’re not sure you can meet, and of course choosing to focus on a project that you are actually dying to do. I think the fact that I want this sex journal to exist and I have a seriously limited amount of time to create it before I go on holiday / run out of money has been the perfect recipe for getting shit done. It enabled me to blast through any and all gatekeepers and limitations that were standing in my way.
Now, I am not going to lie. I’m absolutely fried right now. I really wanted to write a funny, actually useful article for you today, but my brain is literally shutting down. On this home stretch, I’ve started sending emails to potential clients with spelling errors! For me, this is a small travesty and a sign. I can’t go on.
The good news is that I have SO many fun upcoming articles planned for you. Here are a few hints:
“My 5 Kinks and Why”: I want to revisit a classic topic and delve deeper into the quirky psychologies I developed in my childhood. Thank you, Freud!
“The Hot Gal’s Guide to Sex in Mexico City”: Echoing my piece about dating Mexican men, I’m creating a guide for the girls, the gays, and the theys (à la Blakely Thornton) based on my experiences of living in Mexico City for three years as a single person wedged in the dating scene. This guide will be full of local lore that you can’t find anywhere else, including which locations, bars, restaurants, and gyms you should frequent, depending on the type of person you’re looking to bang. This piece makes me smile every time I think about it.
“We are the village”: This will be a more tender piece about how we can shamelessly support the young women in our lives with issues like sex, birth control, and healthy romantic relationships. I’ll be coining an unscientific term of “life auntie”, a role which I’ve accidentally taken on. It’s an ode to remembering that we matter when it comes to being there for younger people. It’s also an antidote to the insanely uncertain shitstorm of the world right now, because it’s a direct impact we can have on the lives of others and something we can control.
Do you have a burning question or a topic you want me to write about? Leave me a comment, a DM, or a quick response to this email, and I’ll make it happen.
The bad news is that I am indeed going on holiday for almost a month. You can expect the next Misseducated update from me on Tuesday, August 19th. I know that is an age away. I will miss you because I love writing this newsletter. But the truth is that aside from the week-long creative orgasm of my sex journal, I have been struggling creatively. This is because of at least two major factors:
I started using AI to help me edit my work. I started paying for Claude and ChatGPT, and while it’s been helpful to tighten my paragraphs for clarity and make it easier to find research articles for The Sex Report, for example, I feel like I’ve lost the way. I’m obviously a bit of a writing purist, so I only use AI to help me edit my work, but still. I don’t like the quality of the things I’ve been producing with its help. Looking back, I don’t like it’s ideas of what’s optimal. I need to take time away from the internet. Luckily, I’m going to the mountains of California with literally nothing but my own thoughts to nag me for almost two weeks. It’s the reset I need. Wish me luck.
I’ve started stressing about growth metrics too much. Just like the type-A Wharton graduate I am, or like anyone who’s hooked on social media, I’ve been checking engagement, clicks, views, subscriptions, and all that crap of this newsletter for a few months now. I’ve noticed some trends as to what people like, but it’s started to consume me. I’ve literally forgotten about the fun things that I want to write about. I’ve become too focused on the outcomes, as opposed to just enjoying the creative process. According to Rick Rubin, James Clear, and a variety of modern-day gurus, obsessing about the outcomes and the performance of your work is literally the worst thing you can do, for your work itself and your creativity. And I’ve got a pretty heavy case of the outcomes obsessions. Here are some relevant Rick Rubin quotes:
“The best work is the work you are excited about.”
“Your trust in your instincts and excitement are what resonate with others.”
“If we second-guess our inner knowing to attempt to predict what others may like, our best work will never appear.”
And of course, it’s all exacerbated by comparing myself to other Substackers! Social comparison is the worst. I still haven’t learned my lesson. So a break from social media will also hopefully help me with that. The point is, I’m hoping a couple of weeks driving around in the Western United States, and retreating to the mountainous forests of Northern California, will help me remember why the hell I am doing this and what kind of writing excites me the most. I am not giving up.
Anyway, I want to say a big thank you for reading and being here with me for this ride! Your support helps to keep me going, reminds me to keep learning, and keeps me honest in the process.
I hope you all have a relaxing, creative couple of weeks, and I can’t wait to connect with you again soon once I’m back!
Lots of love,
Tash
💌 ✍️
p.s. Here’s a smattering of things to keep you entertained in my absence.
My Road Trip Playlist 🛣️ 🌲 🏞️
Congratulations on the journal going to the printer! 🍾 🎉 Enjoy your summer break! ☀️